Depression is more common than you might think, affecting millions of people across the U.S. every year. In fact, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) reports that around 21 million adults experienced at least one major depressive episode in 2020—that’s about 8.4% of the adult population.

It doesn’t discriminate either; depression can show up in anyone’s life, though women are 1.5 to 3 times more likely to experience it than men. With numbers like these, it’s clear that this is something a lot of us are dealing with, even if we don’t always talk about it.

When we think of depression, many people picture sadness, but it’s more than that. According to the DSM-5 (the manual mental health professionals use to diagnose conditions), depression involves a mix of symptoms that stick around for at least two weeks.

These can include feeling down or losing interest in things you usually enjoy, along with changes in appetite, trouble sleeping (or sleeping too much), low energy, trouble concentrating, and even thoughts of self-harm. It’s not just "having a bad day"—depression can make it hard to focus at work, keep up with friends, or even just get out of bed.

Unfortunately, there’s still a lot of misunderstanding around depression, which can make it tough for people to talk about it. That’s why we’re diving into this topic—how to break the silence about the depression you are experiencing to loved ones and co-workers.

Talking about depression isn’t easy, especially when you’re not sure if others will really get what you’re going through. It can feel pretty vulnerable to put those feelings into words, but sharing your experience can actually be a big relief and help others support you better.

Opening up can lighten the load and create a stronger connection with the people around you. Here are some simple tips and phrases to help explain your depression to loved ones, friends, co-workers, or even your boss, so the conversation feels a little more comfortable.

Start with Honesty

It's important to be upfront about your feelings, even if you don't have all the words. A simple, honest explanation can go a long way.

To a loved one: "I’ve been feeling really down for a while now, and it’s more than just a bad day. I think I’m dealing with depression, and I’d like to talk to you about it."
To a friend: "Lately, I’ve been struggling with my mental health. I’m not myself because I’ve been feeling really low, and it’s hard to get out of this mindset."

Describe What Depression Feels Like

Often, people assume depression is just sadness, but it can affect so much more. Let them know how it impacts your daily life.

To a loved one: "It feels like everything takes so much more energy than it should, and even the things I used to enjoy don’t feel the same anymore."
To a friend: "Some days, I feel numb, and other days, I feel everything all at once. It’s hard to explain, but I want you to know that it’s not something I can just snap out of."

Set Boundaries and Ask for Support

Let people know how they can help or what you need from them. You don’t have to manage their expectations alone.

To a co-worker: "I’m managing my mental health right now, and there are some days when it’s harder for me to focus. I’ll do my best to communicate if I need extra support or time."
To a boss: "I’ve been dealing with depression, which has affected my ability to focus and work at my usual pace. I’m working on it, and I wanted to be transparent with you so we can find a way to manage my workload together."

Be Clear About What They Can Do

Sometimes people don’t know how to help, so telling them directly what you need can reduce awkwardness.

To a loved one: "I don’t need you to fix this, but just being there to listen means a lot to me. I’ll let you know if I need anything more."
To a friend: "Sometimes I just need a distraction, like hanging out and not talking about it. And other times, I might just need some space."

Explain That It’s Not Personal

People may take it personally if you’re less engaged, so it’s important to reassure them that it’s about what you’re going through, not about them.

To a loved one: "I’ve been distant lately, and it’s not because I don’t care about you. Depression makes me withdraw sometimes, and I’m working on it."
To a friend: "If I’ve seemed off or distant, I want you to know it’s not about you. My mental health has been a challenge, and it’s hard to show up in the same way."

Use Comparisons or Analogies

Sometimes, explaining depression with an analogy can make it easier for others to grasp.

To anyone: "It’s like walking through mud every day—it takes so much more effort to do the smallest things, and sometimes it feels like I’m stuck."
To anyone: "It’s like there’s a fog in my mind that makes it hard to see things clearly or feel the way I used to."

Offer Reassurance and Gratitude

A little reassurance can help people feel more comfortable, and expressing gratitude can strengthen your connection with them.

To anyone: "Thank you for being patient with me. I know this isn’t easy to understand, but I really appreciate you being there."

When to Keep it to Yourself

Sometimes, it’s not always appropriate or safe to disclose your depression, especially in environments where you feel people may use that information against you. In certain workplaces or social situations, revealing personal struggles can lead to unintended consequences like retaliation, gossip, or even discrimination.

If you sense that someone might lack the compassion or understanding to respond appropriately, it’s okay to protect your mental health by choosing not to disclose. You’re not obligated to share with everyone, and your emotional well-being comes first. Trust your instincts, and only open up to people or in spaces where you feel safe and supported.

Final Thoughts

Remember, you don’t have to explain everything all at once, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Talking about your depression is a brave step toward healing, and the people who care about you want to understand. You are worthy of love, support, and compassion—even on your hardest days. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. You’re not in this alone.

Breaking the Silence: How to Explain Your Depression