Generational trauma—it’s a term we hear more often now, but what does it actually mean? For many, it’s an invisible thread woven through family history, passed down from one generation to the next. It can show up as emotional reactions, limiting beliefs, or behaviors that feel oddly familiar, as if they’re not even our own. And the truth is, they might not be. Generational trauma refers to the emotional wounds and unresolved pain that’s been handed down through family lines, often without anyone fully realizing it.

The good news? Just because it’s been passed down doesn’t mean we have to carry it forever. It is possible to heal and break the cycle, creating a new path for yourself and future generations. In this blog, we’ll explore what generational trauma looks like and, most importantly, how to begin healing from it.

What Is Generational Trauma?

Before diving into the healing part, let’s define what we’re dealing with. Generational trauma (or intergenerational trauma) happens when the emotional and psychological effects of traumatic events experienced by one generation are passed down to the next.

This can include things like abuse, addiction, poverty, violence, or systemic oppression. Even if you didn’t personally experience these events, the coping mechanisms or emotional responses to them can be inherited through family behaviors, beliefs, and communication patterns.

Lineage Patterns

Lineage patterns are behaviors, messages, and thinking patterns linked with core beliefs and experiences that have been sustained across multiple generations in the same family.

Much of the transmission of these patterns originates in the relationship between babies and their parent through verbal, non-verbal, and implied messaging.

If a parent poorly manages their mental health or trauma, if they struggle with parenting to the point of emotional unavailability, or if they are flooded by fears of instability, insecurity, or scarcity, the child knows.

For example, if your grandparents survived a war or a famine, they may have developed a “scarcity mindset,” constantly worrying about food, money, or security. These anxieties might get passed down to your parents and then to you, even if you’ve never had those same struggles.

Legacy Burdens

Family secrets come in many flavors, and they usually function to protect the family members from feeling pain. Sometimes family secrets also fulfill an obligation to protect someone or something within the family system, contain disbelief about a private reality only the members know about, or perpetuate denial.

A legacy burden is something members of a family carry within themselves that was not of their making or direct experience, and many family secrets become legacy burdens.

People often do not feel the legacy burdens and maladaptive lineage patterns they are immersed in because the dynamics have been present in their lives for as long as they can remember.

The Grandmother Effect

Research in the field of epigenetics demonstrates that we are each affected by the environment and lifestyle of our ancestors from at least the two generations before us, and we will directly impact at least the next two generations after us with our environment and lifestyle choices.

Just think, when your grandmother was pregnant with your mother, the egg that was to eventually become you was already present in your mother’s ovaries, being exposed to the environment that your grandmother lived in. This is known as The Grandmother Effect.

The bottom line is, if your ancestor was exposed to painful emotional wounding, and they did not have the safety, know-how, or resources to heal it, they are exponentially more likely to pass their wounds to their descendants, aka you.

Signs You Might Be Carrying Generational Trauma

Generational trauma can be sneaky because it often doesn’t show up in obvious ways. Here are a few signs that you might be carrying the weight of your family’s past:

Recurring emotional patterns: Do you find yourself dealing with the same kinds of emotional issues as your parents or grandparents, like anxiety, anger, or a sense of unworthiness?
Family dynamics: Do certain patterns or behaviors seem to repeat in your family? Maybe it’s a fear of failure, a tendency to avoid emotions, or strained relationships.
Unexplained fears or triggers: Do you have deep-rooted fears or emotional triggers that don’t seem to fit with your personal experiences?
Beliefs about yourself: Do you carry limiting beliefs about what’s possible for you, based on what your family has experienced?

If any of these resonate, it’s possible that generational trauma is at play. Recognizing it is the first step toward healing. Sometimes, the simple knowledge that the patterns you have been living out do not belong to you is enough to bring forward the consciousness necessary to heal them.

If the knowledge itself is not enough, then you have to do something differently to break the cycle. If you want change within yourself, your family, or your ancestral line, you have to be the change.

Recognize the Patterns

Healing from generational trauma starts with awareness. You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge. Take some time to reflect on your family history. Are there emotional patterns or coping mechanisms that seem to have been passed down? Are there certain beliefs that were ingrained in you as a child, like “life is hard,” “money doesn’t grow on trees,” or “you have to struggle to succeed”?

Journaling can be a powerful tool here. Write about your experiences, your family’s history, and any patterns you’ve noticed. As you gain awareness, you’ll start to see how much of what you’re carrying is truly yours and what’s been inherited.

Get Curious About Your Family Story

Sometimes, understanding the trauma that was passed down can provide clarity and compassion. If possible, talk to older family members about their experiences. Ask them about their childhoods, their struggles, and what life was like for them growing up. It can help to see where certain behaviors or beliefs originated.

But be mindful—these conversations can bring up a lot of emotions for both you and your relatives, so it is common to encounter resistance. Approach your family with curiosity rather than blame. The goal is to understand, not to assign fault.

Remember, in all likelihood, your ancestors didn’t want anyone in the family to suffer at all, they just didn’t have the resources, skills, and strength to become a pattern breaker themselves.

Practice Self-Compassion

Healing generational trauma isn’t a quick fix. It’s a process, and it requires a lot of self-compassion. As you become aware of the patterns and start to break free from them, you might feel a mix of emotions—relief, anger, sadness, maybe even guilt. This is completely normal.

Remember, it’s okay to feel all of it. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this healing journey. One simple practice is to place your hand on your heart when you’re feeling overwhelmed and say, “I’m doing the best I can.” A little kindness goes a long way when you’re unlearning patterns that have been ingrained for generations.

Try Mindfulness and Breathwork

Mindfulness and breathwork are powerful tools to help process emotions and stay grounded during the healing process. When you feel triggered or overwhelmed, these practices can bring you back to the present moment and help you calm your nervous system.

Mindfulness: This can be as simple as noticing your thoughts without judgment. When you catch yourself spiraling into old patterns, pause and observe what’s happening. Instead of reacting, take a moment to breathe and reflect.
Breathwork: Intentional breathing can be a game-changer for calming the body and mind. Try deep belly breathing (inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 6) when you’re feeling stressed or triggered. This can help create space between the trigger and your response. Neurosomatic breathwork can also be a huge help when it comes to healing generational trauma.

Seek Professional Help

Sometimes, breaking the cycle of generational trauma requires more than self-reflection and mindfulness. Working with a therapist, especially one trained in trauma work like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), can help you dig deeper into the trauma that’s been passed down and create lasting healing.

A therapist can guide you in processing the emotions that come up and provide tools to help you create healthier patterns moving forward.

Create New Family Patterns

As you heal, you’ll have the opportunity to create new, healthier patterns for yourself and future generations. This might look like setting boundaries where there were none before, practicing open communication, or prioritizing emotional well-being in your family. Remember, even small changes can have a big impact over time.

Final Thoughts

Breaking the cycle of generational trauma is no small feat, but it’s one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself and future generations. By recognizing the patterns, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support, you can heal the wounds of the past and create a brighter future.

Never underestimate the power you hold within yourself to shift, change, and rewrite the story of your ancestry. It only takes the intentional, courageous act of doing things differently, and everything can change for the better.

Just start. Start where you are, with what you have, and go from there. It’s okay if your efforts take repetition to stick.

You’re not just healing for yourself—you’re healing for those who came before you and those who will come after. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Breaking the Cycle: How to Heal Generational Trauma