A Guide to Creating a Sanctuary Space

Many trauma survivors experience feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and hypervigilance in their daily lives. One powerful way to combat these feelings is by creating a dedicated “sanctuary space” that fosters a sense of security and calm. Whether it’s a physical area in your home or a mental retreat, this guide will provide actionable tips to help you create a personalized sanctuary you can turn to whenever you feel overwhelmed.

Feeling Safe

Feeling safe is essential for emotional regulation and healing from trauma because a sense of safety allows the brain and body to shift out of "fight, flight, or freeze" mode, which is often activated in individuals who have experienced trauma. When the nervous system is in a constant state of hypervigilance—always on the lookout for potential threats—it becomes difficult for a person to regulate your emotions effectively. This is because the brain, particularly the amygdala (which is responsible for detecting danger), remains on high alert, preventing the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and emotional regulation) from functioning properly. Without this sense of safety, the body stays in survival mode, and emotional dysregulation becomes the norm.

Creating a personal sanctuary, whether physical or psychological, helps to counteract this by offering a space where the individual can feel secure and grounded. A personal sanctuary can be a designated room, corner, or even a mental space where one can engage in calming practices such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or soothing sensory activities. By regularly retreating to this sanctuary, the nervous system receives signals that it's safe to relax. Over time, this can help reduce hypervigilance, allowing the parasympathetic nervous system (which governs relaxation) to take over and calm the body.

This space acts as a buffer between the individual and external stressors, giving you the opportunity to regulate your emotional responses without feeling overwhelmed by perceived dangers. In this safe environment, the brain can relearn how to respond to stressors in a calmer, more measured way, leading to improved emotional regulation and the gradual healing of trauma.

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Creating a Sanctuary Step By Step

Step One: Find a Space

To create a sanctuary space in your home, start by finding a specific spot where you feel comfortable and relaxed. It could be a cozy corner in your bedroom, a comfortable chair by a window with natural light, or even a small area where you can set up soft lighting and calming elements. Choose a space that feels peaceful and quiet, away from distractions.

The key is consistency. Return to this space regularly to foster a sense of routine and safety, whether it’s for meditation, journaling, or simply taking a few deep breaths. Over time, the routine of visiting your sanctuary will trigger an automatic sense of safety and calm, helping you reconnect with a feeling of security whenever you need it.

Step Two: Create Comfort

It’s important to make this space your own, creating an environment that feels safe and welcoming. Fill this sanctuary with items that bring you comfort. This could include:

Soft blankets or pillows
A weighted blanket
Calming scents (lavender, chamomile) through essential oils or candles
Gentle lighting, such as fairy lights or salt lamps
Meaningful objects like photos, crystals, or items with personal significance

Soft textures, like blankets and pillows, provide tactile comfort, grounding the body in the present moment and reducing the tension often associated with trauma. Gentle lighting, such as dim lamps or candles, mimics natural light patterns that promote relaxation, helping the brain associate the space with calm rather than stress. Soothing scents like lavender, sandalwood, or chamomile can engage the olfactory system, which directly connects to brain regions involved in emotional regulation, signaling that it’s safe to let go of heightened alertness.

Meaningful objects, such as personal mementos or items that hold positive memories, reinforce a sense of belonging and emotional security. These objects help create an emotional connection to safety and comfort, reminding survivors that they are supported and protected. Together, these elements create a multisensory experience that reinforces signals of safety to the brain, allowing survivors to release hypervigilance and more easily shift into a state of relaxation and healing.

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Step Three: Add Mindfulness Tools

You should also add mindfulness tools to keep in your sanctuary space to enhance relaxation, such as:

A journal and pen for reflection and emotional processing
Meditation cushions or yoga mats for practicing mindfulness or light stretching
A small speaker or a meditation bowl for playing calming music or nature sounds
Affirmation cards or quote decks
Mindfulness stones or worry stones
Tibetan prayer beads (mala beads) for counting breaths or repeating mantras

Creating rituals around these mindfulness tools is essential for reinforcing emotional regulation practices because rituals build consistency and predictability, which are key to feeling safe and grounded. By setting aside time each day to engage with these tools—whether through lighting a candle, journaling, or sitting quietly with a weighted blanket—you train your brain to associate these actions with relaxation and emotional balance. Over time, these small, repeated acts signal to your nervous system that it's safe to shift out of hypervigilance and into a calm, restorative state.

These rituals also serve as a way to carve out intentional moments of self-care, allowing survivors to reconnect with themselves and their needs regularly. When you make it a habit to incorporate mindfulness tools like meditation, essential oils, or affirmation cards into your daily routine, the act of using them becomes a soothing practice that helps regulate your emotions more easily. The structure and repetition of these rituals create a sense of stability, fostering resilience and promoting long-term healing.

Step Four: Create a Mental Sanctuary

You won’t always be able to retreat to your sanctuary space when you are triggered or anxious. Therefore, it’s important to create a mental sanctuary that can help you stay grounded and centered any time and any place:

Picture a peaceful place in your mind, whether it’s a beach, forest, mountain retreat or any other place where you can feel secure, peaceful, and supported.
Imagine every sensory detail—what you see, hear, smell, and feel in this mental sanctuary. Take your time and really feel like you are there.
“Walk around” this mental sanctuary so you can really absorb every detail - there are no limits to your imagination!
You may want to give it a simple name to help your brain recall it (mine is called “The Mossy Place”).
Practice being in this mental sanctuary when you are not overwhelmed at first. Make it a habit to go there for 5 minutes a day.
Later, you can access this mental retreat whenever you feel overwhelmed, even if you’re not near your physical sanctuary.

Practice is absolutely key to this tool. Every time you retreat to your mental sanctuary, you are creating new neural connections that not only enhance this visualization, they also strengthen your overall sense of safety. Basically, your brain slowly starts to learn that it can feel safe in different settings and situations, which can be a challenge for trauma survivors.

Step Five: Practice Self-Soothing in Your Sanctuary Space

Practicing self-soothing in your sanctuary space is vital for promoting a sense of peace and helping your nervous system learn to relax as soon as you enter the space. Self-soothing activities, such as deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation, provide immediate signals to your body and mind that you are in a safe, nurturing environment. This helps to counteract the stress responses often triggered by past trauma and allows your nervous system to shift from a state of hypervigilance to one of calm and relaxation.

By regularly engaging in self-soothing practices in your sanctuary, you are teaching your brain to associate this space with comfort, safety, and emotional regulation. Over time, simply entering the sanctuary becomes a cue for your nervous system to relax and unwind. This repetition strengthens the connection between your environment and your ability to soothe yourself, making it easier to access peace, even during stressful moments. It creates a reliable routine that reinforces healing and cultivates emotional resilience.

Some practices you can try include:

Deep breathing exercises (4-7-8 breathing or box breathing) to calm the nervous system
Progressive muscle relaxation to release tension in the body
Positive affirmations or self-compassion mantras to nurture emotional safety
Visualizing your mental sanctuary you created in Step Four

Cultivate Your Sanctuary Over Time

Remember that your sanctuary is yours to evolve. You can add new elements as you grow and heal. Make sure to visit your sanctuary regularly—whether physical or mental—especially when feeling anxious, triggered, or overwhelmed. And finally, don’t forget that healing from trauma is a journey, and having a dedicated sanctuary space can be a powerful step toward reclaiming peace and emotional balance.